i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
