We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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