dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
