Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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