i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
