I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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