I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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