I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize