Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
