is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
