He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
