I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
