I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
