i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
