Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
