terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
