I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
