Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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