Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
