Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you had me at cake vodka
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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