Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
