Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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