if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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