i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
