pop tarts are not kleenex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize