I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
