At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize