he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She bit a glass in half.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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