Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize