only if we run a train.
done.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
