Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
