OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
