I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
