one might say we're banned from that church
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
