sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
