"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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