Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
