Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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