I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
