Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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