chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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