Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
