Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found your dick twin last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
