Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
