READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
