She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
