That's intense
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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