Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
