Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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