I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
