idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
