Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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