I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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