Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
