Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
