Your mouth is God's brothel.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
