she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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