Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize