we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
