I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So much rum. So many feels.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
