Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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