And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
