I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
