he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize