I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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